well.. it's been a REALLY long time since i've been on here.. tax season was a crazy time and i'm just now getting back to my self - well sorta.. i've got 30 days and then it'll be time for baby #2.. yes that's right, i'm pregnant and almost ready to have this lovely little bundle of joy.. this time it's a boy.. so now i'll have one of each.. i'm nervous, scared, tired, blah.. blah.. blah.. go figure.. i'm a little perturbed at the moment.. well that's a lie.. i'm downright mad.. i'm getting ready to give birth to my second child and no one is giving me a baby shower.. now i know that sounds a little petty but i'm the middle child of 6 girls and one boy.. you'd think one person would at least offer but no.. i know i did a baby shower for one sister and two wedding showers for the other - she said I didn't but I know i did.. but she's the one if it isn't all about her then forget it.. my mother can't even be excited about my upcoming child because she's getting ready to be a great grandmother as well - my 17 year old nephew got his girlfriend pregnant and she's due guess when? a little over a month after me.. how exciting.. not.. and she's skinny and cute and it makes me ill.. and her mother's giving her a baby shower - so what's the deal?
i know i'm just bitchin but no one to talk to really these days and when i start talking about how disappointed i am in my family i start to cry - gotta love those pregnacy hormones.. sheesh! so here i am about to have my second child and i'm not getting any real time off because no one wants to take care of my work.. granted i take care of everyone else's while they're not here but apparently that's my job.. so where's the return gratitude? there is none.. mom said she would deliver the payroll's so that I didn't have to do that.. but if i have to come to work to do them i might as well deliver them myself.. it just sucks.. it's always all about everyone but me - which i know on my part sounds petty but again not caring at this moment.. i'm so tired of being the only one that has to do without.. when my daughter is older and ready to get married I'll make sure she has a wedding shower and when she has her children she'll have baby showers - i don't care that my sister thinks it's not necessary to have one with your second child.. i think it would be nice to have just an hour that was all about me.. am i wrong? not really caring if i am right now.. i'm just feelin a little left out i suppose.. which i suppose at this point in my life i should be use too..
there has been so much going on in the last month that i really wasn't completely surprised at not having a shower but for those reasons and not the "you don't have a shower with your second child" crap.. the only reason i had the first shower was that i practically had to beg my husbands' employer to do something for him saying he was feeling left out.. if not for that i wouldn't have had anything.. *sigh*
i guess this is all for now.. i'm just overwhelmed i suppose and need an outlet.. but trust me it does suck that my family can't spare a moment to do something nice for me.. it really SUCKS!
