life.. ain't it peechy!

Well it’s tax time again and I’m dealing with all of the lovely stress and crap that I generally do.  I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated this. Been a little busy!  I now have a beautiful baby boy – he was born August 5^th!  He and my daughter are the highlight of my evenings now – I only get to spend time with them at night due to my heavy work schedule.  I get home in time usually to give my son his bottle and put him to bed.  My daughter and I watch tv or a movie and then she’s asleep – 2 hours max.  I miss my kids.  Down to only 13 days left though.   Been one of them days here, and I can’t wait for this one to be over.  Being here does help me to realize the type of mother that I want to be.  I don’t want to be judgmental and overly demanding.  I don’t want to give either of my children more responsibilities than they can handle – don’t get me wrong, I want my children to be responsible people but I don’t want to make them take on more than they can handle.  Won’t go into great detail on that – just saying.  I really wish I had more time with them right now but as I wrote before it’s almost over.  My one sister is having issues with our mother- shocker.  I would love for her to come and live with me.  Would give her a break and would be nice to have an extra set of hands.  Probably won’t happen so I’m not holding my breath.  Well I had better get back to work.  Taxes never sleep!

updated - been away too long

well.. it's been a REALLY long time since i've been on here.. tax season was a crazy time and i'm just now getting back to my self - well sorta.. i've got 30 days and then it'll be time for baby #2.. yes that's right, i'm pregnant and almost ready to have this lovely little bundle of joy.. this time it's a boy.. so now i'll have one of each.. i'm nervous, scared, tired, blah.. blah.. blah.. go figure.. i'm a little perturbed at the moment.. well that's a lie.. i'm downright mad..  i'm getting ready to give birth to my second child and no one is giving me a baby shower.. now i know that sounds a little petty but i'm the middle child of 6 girls and one boy.. you'd think one person would at least offer but no..  i know i did a baby shower for one sister and two wedding showers for the other - she said I didn't but I know i did.. but she's the one if it isn't all about her then forget it.. my mother can't even be excited about my upcoming child because she's getting ready to be a great grandmother as well - my 17 year old nephew got his girlfriend pregnant and she's due guess when? a little over a month after me.. how exciting.. not.. and she's skinny and cute and it makes me ill.. and her mother's giving her a baby shower - so what's the deal? 
i know i'm just bitchin but no one to talk to really these days and when i start talking about how disappointed i am in my family i start to cry - gotta love those pregnacy hormones.. sheesh!  so here i am about to have my second child and i'm not getting any real time off because no one wants to take care of my work.. granted i take care of everyone else's while they're not here but apparently that's my job.. so where's the return gratitude?  there is none.. mom said she would deliver the payroll's so that I didn't have to do that.. but if i have to come to work to do them i might as well deliver them myself.. it just sucks.. it's always all about everyone but me - which i know on my part sounds petty but again not caring at this moment.. i'm so tired of being the only one that has to do without.. when my daughter is older and ready to get married I'll make sure she has a wedding shower and when she has her children she'll have baby showers - i don't care that my sister thinks it's not necessary to have one with your second child.. i think it would be nice to have just an hour that was all about me.. am i wrong? not really caring if i am right now..  i'm just feelin a little left out i suppose.. which i suppose at this point in my life i should be use too..
there has been so much going on in the last month that i really wasn't completely surprised at not having a shower but for those reasons and not the "you don't have a shower with your second child" crap.. the only reason i had the first shower was that i practically had to beg my husbands' employer to do something for him saying he was feeling left out.. if not for that i wouldn't have had anything.. *sigh*
i guess this is all for now.. i'm just overwhelmed i suppose and need an outlet.. but trust me it does suck that my family can't spare a moment to do something nice for me.. it really SUCKS!

i will survive.. lol

well i made it through yet another deadline.. woohoo! seemed like people were crawling out of the woodwork.. sheesh!

i'm so tired yet i know what my weekend is going to shape itself into.. already said i'd help the family with closing the pool and the a/c stuff on Sunday.. and i know Troy will sleep in tomorrow so no rest for me.. such is my life.. i'm just exhausted..

was watching my soap opera today and it about made me cry.. now i know i'm tired.. oh well.. if i could just go home and rest i'd probably make it.. upside is i'm going to start getting a day off once a week.. troy's gonna love that - wouldn't be bad if he wasn't at home in the mornins but he will be.. lol.. let's see how that goes..

well this is it for now.. i'll have to catch everything up later.. oh, and the Me-ow is doin fine.. i'm thinkin that's what his name is going to be.. lol.. just gotta get him de-clawed now.. fun..

wow.. been a while

well sorry to say i've been out of touch for a bit.. hmm.. oh well.. quick catch up - same old crap different day :).. lol..

my little angel is getting bigger and bigger.. she's just so beautiful!!  ahh motherhood.. has it joys somedays..

last night i think i did a no no.. i stayed up late instead of going to bed with my hubby.. i didn't want sex - awful aren't i.. oh well.. i just wansn't in the mood.. is that wrong? i would rather sleep, which i didn't do cause i was watching tv but he was at least asleep when i got to bed 30 minutes later.. i'm a terrible wife.. sue me..

we've got a new pet.. my daughter calls it  mee-ow.. it's a new kitten.. my other two don't like it so therefore this one is inside instead of outside.. fun for me.. oh well.. it's at least loveable and tolerant apparently because Nataleigh is mean to it and it is still loving on her.. i'm working on the "be nice to the me-ow" but it seems to be going in one ear and out the other.. oh well..

i'm still tryin to sell my old car.. with no luck.. oh well.. hopefull that will work out soon too.. well i gotta get back to work.. have a great week folks!

busy much..

lets see.. busy me.. my goodness!  life has been the same.. busyier than all get out.. sheesh!  my husband had the flu last week.. needless to say i was watching two toddlers for the past three days.. at least I didn't have to give the older one his medicine.. he's such a baby when he's ill.. "ohhh my head, *sniff*"

anyway.. i haven't had a chance to read any blogs in the last two weeks and am so behind.. oh well.. hopefully everyone else is enjoyin their life a little more than me at the moment..

i have tried to make a few changes for me.. listening to Christian music in the car.. tryin to ready my Bible every day.. missed a couple over the weekend (was on sicky patrol).. and am tryin to have a positive outlook..
I still haven't talked to the boss about a raise but get the feeling it isn't going to happen.. so now I need to start looking for a part time weekend job.. what fun that's going to be.. oh well.. gotta do what's gotta be done.. that's life.. if I could sell my car it would help.. also looking into getting back into school but am unsure on that for the moment - who knows..

well i've still got a mountain of paperwork to get done so time to get to it.. hope everyone else has a non-eventful monday..

out of commission.. sheesh!

well i have been extremely busy.. that and only a four day work week last week lol.. oh well.. my sister managed to thoroughly piss me off on Tuesday which caused me to screw up something i was working on, which made my day that much longer.. grrrr..
i have 5 sisters.. three older, two younger.. the (1)one closest to my age is a different for all practical purposes.. she is currently working but my mom is still paying her rent and probably her electric bill.. anyway.. the next sister (2) works here with mom and me.. she's been here longer and makes a whole $1.00 more an hour than me.. woohoo!  anyway.. sister number 1was having car issues and being the smart ass that I am I of course said to sister #2 "she probably doesn't even have the money to fix her car does she?" which is usually an accurate response.. well sister #2 said that I was rude?!? AS IF!  Honest maybe.. she said why do i always talk that way about sister #1.. well.. "it's a natural reflex" lol.. honest.. and generally she's there with me if not before me being "rude" about sister #1.. so i was not happy.. neither sister has the financial responsibility that I have and now i know they both make more money on the hour than i do.. boy that SUCKS!  i so need a different job.. which is my own fault i suppose but that's a whole different blog..

anyway.. after a pretty sucky day tuesday the week didn't get a whole lot better.. well maybe a little.. my youngest sister was having a type of school fund raiser - not sure i spelled that right - anyway.. they had a pizza night at Mr. Gattis.. well i told mom that I couldn't go cause i was broke, i thought immediately that she would offer to pay for mine because i knew she was paying for everyone else's... to my udder shock and amazement she didn't.. well not until MUCH later.. so eventually i did go with them so that wasn't a bad night except that they seemed to stay there FOREVER!..

thursday and friday we worked kinda late and so i had supper at their house.. was ok and i didn't have to cook or clean up - BONUS!! 

Saturday my hubby pissed me off.. i hate it when i get yelled at for no reason.. my little angel had just been outside playing and she's attempting potty training so she was bare bottomed.. and well, she did more then just tinkle and i went into the house and asked ding dong to help me out for a few moments.. well he was shaving so apparently i wasn't suppose to interrupt.. how in the hell was i suppose to know? sheesh.. so he pitches his little fit... and so i just wipe her little tushy myself with her squirming and me doing my best to keep something unmentionable on the bed and he's gettin on my last nerve!  he apologed later but my goodness - he said that he was sorry he yelled at me but when the shaving cream stays on his face to long it burns.. WTF?  we've lived together for almost 5 years and that's something he's never mentioned to me.. so how in the hell was i suppose to know? GRRRR!

so anyway.. we do grocery shopping and pretty much piss away the day running around.. he decides to wash both vehicles and being that he's outside and i need to fix dinner i expected that he could watch our daughter.. pretty normal i suppose, but do you think that was possible?  oh no.. so forget supper.. then i'm chasing her across the yard and she's trying to cross the street.. i'm at my witt's end and he's up there dryin off his truck.. makes me want to hit it with any thing handy.. even her playhouse!  but that too passes and she goes to play at her mema's house for a bit..

sunday we spend most of the day at my mothers.. my grandmother was 91 last week so this was a semblance of a birthday party.. i knew once we got there we'd be there for most of the day.. and my hubby was to busy playin video games with the older kiddos to watch his.. go figure..

well that's my last week in a nutshell.. i've got gobbs of work to do so i better get to it.. later all.

random thoughts

well.. hmm.. i'm utterly exhausted but that's typical.. i tried to stay up last night so that me and the hubby could work on the baby making.. but he i suppose assumed i was asleep and therefore decided to watch tv instead.. hmm.. then at 1:30 am decided it was time for bed.. go figure.. oh well..

my mother dear talked with the person that's doin her home study for her current adoption.. they are coming next week so of course she's frekin out.. and now i get to work monday but not here at the office, oh no.. i'll be at her house helping her clean it.. what fun for me..

is it my fault that her house looks like a tornado hit it?  uhm.. no.. and will i get paid for this holiday work? probably not.. and will i get any thanks or consideration for it at all? that's a definate NO.. you just have to  know my mom to understand her.. and somedays even i don't think i understand her..

for people that know me and well those that don't, you probably wonder why my mom has such a hold over my life.. sometimes i wonder that too.. i seriously do not like hurting her at all.. of course sometimes i think she takes great pride in hurting me.. and i could list oh so many specifics on that on but will refrain.. i just have a hard time saying no.. and if i ask her for something then OMG i'm asking for a mountain to be moved.. yeah, that's my life..

i could go into great detail about our rollercoaster family, i could even write a book (would probably be a best seller) but who's got the time for that.. just another random thought....

i've been reading about the girl that was kidnapped and held captive for 18 years.. i can't imagine that happening with my daughter.. i'd go crazy!  but i'd be so thankful that she was alive.. and i'd kill the bastard that took her, no one would have to worry about a trial or prision.. and all the drama around it.. he was a sex offender and no one really did check up on him thoroughly.. i realize that our system is overflowing with problems and issues and there aren't enough people to take care of everything but where can we draw the line?  how many people have to suffer?

then i did the smart thing i suppose and looked up known sex offenders in my area.. there's one literally down the street from me.. I FREAKED OUT!  now i know i'll be watching my little one like a hawk and be more overprotective than i am now.. our world is going down in flames isn't it.. i don't understand how anyone could harm a child in any way.. or how they could sexually attracted to children.. it makes no sense..

i can only pray that one day children will never have to face that again..