random thoughts

well.. hmm.. i'm utterly exhausted but that's typical.. i tried to stay up last night so that me and the hubby could work on the baby making.. but he i suppose assumed i was asleep and therefore decided to watch tv instead.. hmm.. then at 1:30 am decided it was time for bed.. go figure.. oh well..

my mother dear talked with the person that's doin her home study for her current adoption.. they are coming next week so of course she's frekin out.. and now i get to work monday but not here at the office, oh no.. i'll be at her house helping her clean it.. what fun for me..

is it my fault that her house looks like a tornado hit it?  uhm.. no.. and will i get paid for this holiday work? probably not.. and will i get any thanks or consideration for it at all? that's a definate NO.. you just have to  know my mom to understand her.. and somedays even i don't think i understand her..

for people that know me and well those that don't, you probably wonder why my mom has such a hold over my life.. sometimes i wonder that too.. i seriously do not like hurting her at all.. of course sometimes i think she takes great pride in hurting me.. and i could list oh so many specifics on that on but will refrain.. i just have a hard time saying no.. and if i ask her for something then OMG i'm asking for a mountain to be moved.. yeah, that's my life..

i could go into great detail about our rollercoaster family, i could even write a book (would probably be a best seller) but who's got the time for that.. just another random thought....

i've been reading about the girl that was kidnapped and held captive for 18 years.. i can't imagine that happening with my daughter.. i'd go crazy!  but i'd be so thankful that she was alive.. and i'd kill the bastard that took her, no one would have to worry about a trial or prision.. and all the drama around it.. he was a sex offender and no one really did check up on him thoroughly.. i realize that our system is overflowing with problems and issues and there aren't enough people to take care of everything but where can we draw the line?  how many people have to suffer?

then i did the smart thing i suppose and looked up known sex offenders in my area.. there's one literally down the street from me.. I FREAKED OUT!  now i know i'll be watching my little one like a hawk and be more overprotective than i am now.. our world is going down in flames isn't it.. i don't understand how anyone could harm a child in any way.. or how they could sexually attracted to children.. it makes no sense..

i can only pray that one day children will never have to face that again..